We won't sleep together?
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I didn't notice because vodka
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
