help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
