I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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