To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
