the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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