We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
