Small penises have feelings too.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
