shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
