your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
