he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
