smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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