i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
