I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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