last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
