I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
