2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
