yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
