You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
