I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
