The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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