"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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