I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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