Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
