...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
babies were throwing up all over the place
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
