So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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