I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
