I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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