They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
