I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Ketchup is God's man juice
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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