she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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