just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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