But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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