Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I didn't notice because vodka
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
