Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
The struggles of a small town man whore
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
