pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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