Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Why is your signature on my underwear?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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