White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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