I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
