so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
