Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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