everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
