i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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