Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
