Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
