you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
