Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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