the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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