she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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