Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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