so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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