i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
