pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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