so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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